living in my dream..dun wanna wake up

dunno wat i'm doing nowadays>>>
i'm sure i've been asking for too much without putting any effort.. that applys to everything..

phooO~it is indeed da toughest period throughout da life ~~ a long term OT period which seem still far away to b nless..though...^~^...i thought i was strong n smart enough to accept watever outcome..i kept pulling back coz i was scared to lose.. i thought that was just a game n i was enjoying it..however.. i realized that it is no doubt a game.. but i'll never win this game.. while i dun have any back up.. +++++++++++
this game called *life*.. whatever happen was out of control n sometime u cannot even know what will u face in next second...i need back up now.. n i'm pretty not sure wat kind of back up i need n wat i have to do.. amazing...so plan it plz..jo

lots of reading n calculating are waiting for me ...mountain of work still in front of me, many thing still wait for me to handle... althought it feel like only happen in those tv dramas, unfortunately, it happened in the real life.. cant do anything.. n dun wanna do anything..just give a break for myself.... no excuse to ignore it, cannot postpone again, , totally over... dun wanna listen anything from anyone..
watever, please dun tell me..i feel like i always betry someone who treat me well.. am i such an bad person?
da day will come...after da last stage which all the accounts pass ...have to step on n jump off with da feeling..have tried my very best! !!!!! at least, i did~